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They tried everything: a different mix of chemo, radiation. We contemplated more surgery.Finally, when her doctors found it in her spinal fluid and said the next stop was her brain, we knew her time was almost up. I pleaded with her to continue with the treatments, but McKayla firmly told me that she didn't want any more."If I go through all that—the surgery, the chemo, the radiation—what's that going to get me?" she asked through teary eyes. "Another month? Two? And for what? Feeling like shit. We let go of our hands and embraced, pulling each other close.My tongue snaked its way into her mouth and found hers, wrestling with it. My hands were on her hips, then in her hair, then back on her hips, moving slowly, tracing the curve of her body.The whole thing must have lasted less than a minute, but it felt like forever. I didn’t ever want it to end. We stared at each other; stared into each other’s eyes. She smiled at me, which lit up her eyes, and I smiled back.“How long have you wanted. My ex's problem was not knowing when to say no more, and would get into a state where she would drink so much that as soon as she sat or laid down, almost immediately she would pass out completely, and once she had been asleep for 5 or so minutes, it was pretty much impossible to wake her, no matter what you tried.After the night where I had inadvertently let a group see her naked, the feeling of guilt had long passed, since it was never my intention to make it happen. I thought she would have. I love my friends and family, but I still felt as if this thing with Anna was too new, too fragile and I wanted to to focus on us for a while before letting the outside world in. Good intentions aside, I felt uncomfortable with the pressure our friends had put on us. Maybe they'd been waiting years for us to get together, but we hadn't known anything about it, consciously at least. So we stayed as long enough to be polite, but then excused ourselves, Anna shamelessly bragging how little sleep.
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